Especially to my wife, but also to the internet as a whole.
I love to debate. It frustrates my wife to no end, but I'll debate for the simple sake of it. I usually take the opposite side of those around me, even if I don't agree with it, just to keep it going.
She calls me a spoon. In that I like to stir... see what she did there?
It's ok, the Tick was one of my favorite cartoon heroes!
I've been reading the internet lately. As in columns, the comments associated, stuff that I just shouldn't read. See, it goes like this: I read an article, I start pondering what it says, while I'm pondering I read through some comments. But inevitably there's a comment, some jerk who rubs me the wrong way, and I respond. The first time it's a response. If they reply back then it depends on what they say how I reply the next time. If they're a jerk, I ratchet up the jerkiness in my next reply. My wife may disagree, but aside from arguing, the thing I think I'm best at is being a jerk. (it does occur that the reason I get so upset with certain people is something they say reminds me of me)
I cussed at someone on youtube the other day.
I didn't realize it until this morning, but leaving that reply messed up my whole day. I was in such a foul mood Tuesday and most of Wednesday. I couldn't figure it out, but God finally showed me what happened; I acted like my old self. I was back to being a heathen without regard to the fact I'm supposed to be an ambassador for Christ. I failed, badly. I did apologize to them on youtube, but I didn't realize how much of a toll that was going to take.
Part of me is really glad that youtube (or more likely one of the other viewers of the comment) flagged it and removed it. I'm glad it's not there any more. The part that isn't glad is the part that thinks we, humans and Christians, are just so willing to be ugly online because what's the worst that can happen? We delete the account and move on?
I wondered the other day, would people be different if there was some permanent record of everything we did online, wrote, emailed, looked at... and I don't even mean in the spiritual sense of one day we'll have to answer to God for that site/comment/whatever, I mean in this life. Like tied to me personally is more than my social security card, but also my online id. Think about it, my email address is brantleyp1, what if everywhere I went, every comment that I made, every thumbs up or down, was tied to that id and readily available somewhere? How scary!?! It's a little unnerving to think one day I'll have to account for every word, but somehow it feels disconnected, like by typing this it isn't spoken, isn't real, right? But what if not just one day standing before the Judge, but maybe next Tuesday standing before the guy I got into it with on youtube? I may have to rethink my whole philosophy!
I humbly apologize to the people who have argued with me. The times it went beyond a friendly discussion or debate into something involving emotions and worty dirds. I can't say I won't do it again, but I can say I'm going to be ever more diligent in my watch.
I just re-read my post about the internet. Why don't I take my own advice?
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